What I’ve Been Reading

“How to Listen to Stories”, Chapter 11 in Narrative Coaching by David Drake This chapter provides a very narrative-focused take on listening to people. It’s quite different to the usual “active listening” approach. Drake describes four dimensions of listening: What is happening between the two of you, What is happening in the room, What is […]

“The lost art of listening”, by Michael Nichols and Marta Straus (2021) This book, now in its third edition, provides a practical and entertaining guide to improve our relationships by learning to listen. It includes four main parts: The yearning to be understood; The real reasons people don’t listen; Getting through to each other; and

“You’re not listening: What you’re missing and why it matters” by Kate Murphy Another must read book for conflict professionals, and everyone else! Kate Murphy, a NYTimes journalist, explores listening, why it is so important, and why we are so bad at it! Drawing on insights from neuroscience, psychology, and interviews with people from all

Dr Pippa Grange is an Australian Sports psychologist and culture coach who has worked with a diverse group of clients; from the English football team preparing for the World Cup in 2018, to Australian Rules Football clubs, to professional musicians and leaders in the business world. In this book she explores how fear underlies many

Stephen Burt “The art of listening in coaching and mentoring” (2019) This book is essential reading for anyone who coaches, and is also very useful for anyone working in a context in which listening to others is important. If you want to become a better listener in any situation, you will find this book helpful.

Leadership on the line by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky Real leadership surfaces conflict … and causes pain. This book starts with that premise and then suggests strategies for personal survival as a leader. Strategies include some common conflict management techniques (such as going to the balcony to get a big picture about what is

Resolving Conflicts at Work: Ten strategies for everyone on the job by Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith This book provides ten specific strategies that can create a conflict positive workplace – an organization in which conflict is managed well and leads to positive transformation. The authors see conflict as an opportunity for leadership, and suggest

Becoming a Conflict Competent Leader by Craig Runde and Tim Flanagan This book now in its 2nd Edition, is essential reading for every manager in every kind of organization. The book provides an overview of conflict dynamics, destructive and constructive responses to conflict, how to manage emotions in conflict, reflective practice, and creating a workplace

Seeing what others don’t: The remarkable ways we gain insights, by Gary Klein Much of my work as a coach is supporting clients to gain insights into their experiences and their choices moving forward. As a narrative coach, I connected Klein’s description of insights as things that “shook people loose from their initial stories” and

Building agreement: using emotions as you negotiate By Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro This book, by two of the very big names in conflict resolution at Harvard, is based on the premise that the best way to manage emotions in conflict is to work on the underlying core concerns that cause those emotions. The authors