When we are in conflict, we often feel stuck, perhaps between a rock and a hard place! It’s important to remember, though, that we always have many choices about whether and how we respond in a conflict situation. Our first two obvious choices are: (1) do something, or (2) do nothing. Assuming that we would […]
Recently I was a guest on Lizzie Bentley-Bower’s Leadership Letters podcast. In that podcast we talked about the importance of effective conflict management as an essential management skill. Lizzie also asks her guests to write a leadership letter, usually a letter to a leader who you admire. I decided to do something a little bit
Letter from a courageous conflict leader Read More »
It is generally accepted that, to successfully manage and resolve conflict, it is important to try to see things from perspectives other than our own. We are advised to “try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes” and to “look at the situation objectively”. In theory, this is good advice, because our own point
The challenge of perspective-taking in conflict Read More »
When someone in conflict comes to a manager or a conflict specialist for help with a conflict, they often ask for a solution. They want the manager or specialist to fix things for them, or at the very least to tell them what they should do. Having someone intervene on your behalf, or give you
Giving someone in conflict what they want versus giving clients what they need Read More »
When we are in conflict, we tend to only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. We filter out information that is inconsistent with our interpretation of events and we can ignore information that is glaringly obvious to other people around us. When we are emotional, this problem is
Are your emotions messing with your memory? Read More »
Managing conflict well is not about suppressing emotions; rather it is about providing a constructive way to communicate about and through them. What does this mean in practice? Firstly, we need to accept that emotions are an integral part of conflict. They are always there, whether or not they are expressed, and whether or not
Managing emotions in conflict Read More »
Conflict can arise within any organisation, no matter how harmonious it may be. Conflict within the workplace is one of the largest avoidable costs to any business, and yet, it is perhaps the most overlooked. In fact, the cost of conflict to the economy is estimated to be in the tens of billions each year.
The Hidden Costs of Conflict (and how to avoid them) Read More »
